Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Oh, folks, come close and let me tell you a tale of grand political theatre, the kind that makes you wonder if you’re watching C-SPAN or an off-off-Broadway show. Here we have Congressman Jamie Raskin, who decided that it wasn’t enough to just attend a session; no, he had to go and school his colleagues with an impromptu U.S. History lesson.
Now, the setting is simple, just imagine it: a room full of politicians who are supposed to know at least a little bit about the country they govern, right? Wrong. Enter our hero, Mr. Raskin, responding to an attack that seems as out of place as sushi at a barbecue. Apparently, his colleague, a Republican, was in a tizzy about Democrats and their apparent disdain for the American flag. Oh, the horror! Not the flag!
So, according to the Republicans, Democrats are about as patriotic as a double-agent in a spy novel, and this allegation is based on, hold your breath, not visibly participating in the Pledge of Allegiance! And here, ladies and gentlemen, is where our tale turns from the mundane to the spectacularly absurd.
Raskin, not one to let a good theatrical moment pass, reminded the room – with the flair of someone dropping a mic at a rap battle – that he once wrote a paper on the very subject. A paper! Can you believe it? In Congress, that almost makes him a mythical creature, a scribe among mortals! And he proceeds to recount the scintillating details about how the pledge was born from the depths of a magazine campaign to sell flags. Oh yes, nothing screams ‘patriotism’ like a good old-fashioned marketing scheme.
But wait, there’s more! As if it wasn’t enough to just recount history, Raskin has to remind them of the irony – that this pledge they so adore, was penned by a socialist. Yes, a socialist! The irony is so thick you could cut it with a chainsaw. A socialist writing a pledge that modern Republicans would probably tattoo on their foreheads if it was socially acceptable and didn’t mess up their hairlines.
The room must have been so quiet you could hear a lobbyist drop his bribe. And there’s Raskin, standing like a professor in front of a wayward class, reminding these folks to maybe, just maybe, check their facts before they come at him with their flag-wrapped pitchforks.
It’s moments like these that make you wonder if politics is just a reality show that went too far. Someone out there is missing the opportunity to make a killing selling popcorn in the Senate gallery.
Now, let me circle back to the pièce de résistance of this circus – the pledge itself. Here we’ve got a beloved national recitation that’s been turned into a litmus test for patriotism. Never mind actual policies or actions that benefit the country, no, no, no – it all boils down to whether you can recite a few lines written during a time when women couldn’t vote and the Wright Brothers were still figuring out how to keep their airplane from becoming an expensive lawn dart.
So next time someone questions your patriotism because you’re not chest-thumping your love for your country every half hour, just remember – the pledge, my friends, was a marketing ploy. It doesn’t measure your love for the country; no, it measures your ability to remember a poem that was the 19th-century equivalent of a viral tweet.
And if you ever find yourself in Congress, facing down an absurd accusation, just pull a Raskin – whip out a historical fact so amusing and irrefutable that it sends your opponents scrambling back to their corners, hopefully to open a history book.
Because if there’s one thing that’s evident, it’s that a little history goes a long way in Washington, especially when it doubles as comedy gold.
Source: Jamie Raskin Schools Republican With Brutal U.S. History Lesson: I ‘Wrote A Paper About It’
