Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

The Details

Well, strap in folks because it looks like the Democratic protest vote movement is catching more wind than a flatulent hippo after a bean fest. It seems the unrest over the Israel-Hamas war has pushed a bunch of Michigan liberals to check the protest vote box instead of the usual “yes, please” or “Hell no!” to their party lineup. And guess what? This peculiar form of electoral temper tantrum is spreading faster than a rumor in a high school hallway, infecting states with the speed of a viral TikTok dance.

The Breakdown

• Viral Trending in Politics: Remember when planking was a thing? Well, now we’ve got political planking! Or, for a more updated term, let’s call it “protest voting.” It’s when your political stance is about as stable as a Jenga tower in a toddler’s playroom.

  Specifics: The Michigan Dems have decided that the best way to express displeasure is not through thoughtful dialogue or community action, but by throwing a vote in the opposite direction. It’s like trying to fix your leaky faucet by hitting it with a hammer – sure, you’ll feel something, but it ain’t gonna be relief.

• Spread Faster Than High School Gossip: This protest vote movement has hopped state lines faster than a gossip queen texting rumors during study hall.

  Specifics: So now, other states are picking up the same tactic. It’s a contagious wave of “if you can’t join ‘em, beat ‘em with a stick” mentality. Or in more politically correct terms, “let’s create change by potentially creating chaos.” A+ plan, right?

• The Echo Chamber Effect: The Dems have created their own political version of an echo chamber, where one shout of protest gets amplified until it’s deafening.

  Specifics: With each state that joins the “let’s protest vote” bandwagon, the less it seems like a focused message and the more it sounds like a group of kindergarteners arguing over who gets the red crayon.

• Democrat Dominoes: One falls, they all fall. Michigan’s started a Democratic rendition of the domino effect, and who doesn’t love a good ol’ game of political dominos?

  Specifics: When one group of Dems throws a hissy fit, it inspires all the other Dems to join in because, well, solidarity or something. It’s like when one person starts the slow clap in a movie, except nobody’s really sure when to stop.

• Protesting Protest Voting: Let’s get meta here—voting against your party to protest certain international decisions is like unfriending someone on social media to protest the lack of interaction.

  Specifics: The logic here is about as solid as a chocolate teapot. You want to make a point, but the only thing you’re doing is making a mess.

The Counter

• The “I’m Mad As Hell” Approach: Ever heard of sending a sternly worded letter? Too subtle, I guess. So here you have it, folks: the political equivalent of setting your own house on fire because the A/C broke.

  Counterpoints: If you’re mad, maybe invest in a punching bag or try yoga. Better yet, do some community organizing that doesn’t involve playing Russian roulette with your representation.

• The “Change My Mind” Tent: Setting up shop like that one meme dude with a sign, except the sign says, “Change my mind by making me question all my life choices.”

  Counterpoints: How about trying to actually change minds with—you know—convincing arguments or policy proposals instead of just joining the dark side?

• The Robin Hood Mentality: Steal from your own party to give to… your own party? Not sure it works that way, but A for effort, I suppose.

  Counterpoints: How about stealing some good ideas from across the aisle and making them work for your constituents instead of just swinging your vote like a club?

• The “It’s Just a Phase” Vow: This is like when you went through that phase where everything was “ironic,” including your vote. Hope it’s just a phase, right?

  Counterpoints: How about we power through this phase with something constructive, like supporting better candidates or, I don’t know, actual problem-solving?

• The “Throw the Bums Out” Jamboree: Feeling festive? Let’s throw our own party under the bus because sometimes the party just doesn’t party right.

  Counterpoints: If the bus is going in the wrong direction, maybe try grabbing the wheel instead of hopping on another bus entirely—especially if the other one’s heading off a cliff.

The Hot Take

In the immortal words of the great philosopher, Homer (Simpson, that is), “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.” And understanding seems to be in short supply these days among our liberal allies. So, my hot take?

Let’s start treating our political system like it’s more than just a soundbite generator. How about we roll up our sleeves and actually fix what we’re complaining about? You know, dive into the boring policy details, negotiate with the enemy (also known as “the other party”), and maybe, just maybe, create a little order out of the chaos we seem so keen on brewing.

Fixing the problem? Well, that’s easy (said no one ever). But for starters, let’s try using our inside voices, voting in the primaries for candidates that align with our values, and remembering that progress takes more than just a clever protest. It takes work—hard, unending, often unglamorous work. But hey, at least we can make a few jokes along the way, right?

Source: The Democratic protest vote movement over the Israel-Hamas war spreads from Michigan to other states