Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Once upon a time, high in the glass towers of New York City, a notion was born — so bold and daring that it could rival the stories of the Big Apple’s infamous Subway Pizza Rat or the Central Park Mandarin Duck. In an interview that’s as perplexing as getting a seat on the L train during rush hour, Eric Trump, the middle son in the Trump trio, claimed that his father was the grand architect behind NYC’s skyline.
Yes, the same skyline that’s been rising since before the Don’s granddad brought his Bavarian roots to the land of the free. Is this a new plot for a Disney movie, or did Eric just spieth the highest of all fairytales? Let’s unpack this, shall we?
The Breakdown
- The Age of Discovery… According to Eric
First things first, we’ve got to acknowledge the great uncovering that Eric Trump managed to do, concerning decades if not centuries of unknown history. It’s as if Columbus claimed he invented America, not just stumbled upon it. - The Art of the Deal or The Art of the Steal?
The city that never sleeps had its skyline meticulously crafted by architects, builders, and dreamers over generations, but here comes Eric, serving a Trumped-up version of Minecraft where one family’s gold-plated stamp is on every block. - Blueprints of Imagination
Between the bedrock of Manhattan and the last shiny pane of glass, there’s a litany of construction lore. But according to young Trump, the Trump Organization was there, trowel in hand, building empires in the sky — who knew? - The Skyline’s Paternity Test
If we were to run a paternity test on the skyline, would it whisper “you ARE the father” to ol’ Trump Sr.? By Eric’s account, we should be ready to see Maury Povich guest-starring in the next architects’ roundtable. - Big Apple or Trump Orange?
When you look at the cityscape, do you see a towering land of opportunity or an orange orchard where the Trump branding grows on trees? Maybe Eric sees NYC through a unique spectrum—somewhere over the Trumpbow.
The Counter
- The Unknown Architect
Let’s give credit where due. Perhaps there’s an unknown Trump lurking in every blueprint, like a Where’s Waldo of urban development. Did you spot him yet? No? Keep looking. - Build-A-Bear, Build-A-Skyline
Who needs intricate design and structural integrity when you can just stuff buildings with fluff and fantasy? It’s the Build-A-Bear approach to city planning — customizable, cuddly, and completely detached from reality. - The Mythical Land of Trumpgard
Maybe in the mythical land of Trumpgard, the Trump ancestors swung their hammers alongside Thor, shaping Manhattan from their divine realm atop Trump Tower. Someone call Marvel; we’ve got a new superhero here. - It’s in the Stars
Maybe it’s all written in the stars—a zodiac sign here, a promising horoscope there. Eric’s conviction might be cosmic in origin because astrology is the only explanation for this level of creative interpretation. - The Trumpsonian Era
Geologists, get ready to rename the Holocene. We’re now living in the Trumpsonian Era, where natural history is as malleable as a licensing deal, and legacies are built on attention spans shorter than a New York minute.
The Hot Take
To mitigate the side-effects of these grandiose history rewrites, one must prescribe a good dose of reality, taken with a pinch of salt and a generous helping of liberal wit. If we’re going to reconstruct the narrative with a bit more truth and a lot less bronze-tinted grandeur, we’ll need to spotlight the genuine craftworkers behind Gotham’s iconic structures.
Let’s honor the architects, the sweat, and the real steel that shaped the Empire State long before it became a board piece in a monopoly game. It’s high time we lower that golden escalator and bring the skyscraping tales back to the solid ground of Manhattan’s bedrock. To fix the problem, we’ll start not with the buildings, but with the foundation of facts. After all, those are a city’s true load-bearing structures.
Source: Eric Trump Somehow Thinks His Dad Built NYC’s Skyline
