Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
It turns out politics is still the gift that keeps on giving, and today we bear witness to yet another gem, with political strategist James Carville opining on the cultural domination of the Democratic Party by what he calls “too many preachy females.” Oh, the horror, the sheer unadulterated horror of women expressing opinions and guiding a political narrative, right?
Carville’s remark, nestled comfortably in the bosom of ‘The Hill,’ sounds less like a political observation and more like an out-take from a stand-up night that bombed. But here we are, in the year of our Lord 2024, still pondering whether the ladies should ‘simmer down now.’
The Breakdown
- “Femocracy” Reigns Supreme:
- Apparently, the Democratic Party has been overthrown, not by socialists, not by radicals, but by a democratic regime of darn, “preachy females.” Who knew? Turns out all those bake sales and book clubs were just a front for world domination.
- Apparently, the Democratic Party has been overthrown, not by socialists, not by radicals, but by a democratic regime of darn, “preachy females.” Who knew? Turns out all those bake sales and book clubs were just a front for world domination.
- Masterclass in Man-splanation:
- Let’s take a moment to marvel at the audacity of a man complaining about too much female speech in the public domain. And by ‘marvel,’ I mean let’s try and hold back our collective eyerolls as we deconstruct the notion that women might have, dare we think it, valuable insights.
- Let’s take a moment to marvel at the audacity of a man complaining about too much female speech in the public domain. And by ‘marvel,’ I mean let’s try and hold back our collective eyerolls as we deconstruct the notion that women might have, dare we think it, valuable insights.
- Ladies, Lower Your Voices:
- Enters stage left, a mystical device that measures the ideal decibel level for female voices in political discourse. Too high, and you’re ‘preachy,’ too low, and well, does it really matter what you’re saying if we can’t hear you?
- Enters stage left, a mystical device that measures the ideal decibel level for female voices in political discourse. Too high, and you’re ‘preachy,’ too low, and well, does it really matter what you’re saying if we can’t hear you?
- The Cult of the Opinionated Woman:
- Opinionated male politicians? Visionaries. Opinionated female politicians? Must be some sort of cult. Grab your torch and pitchforks—or better yet, let’s just write an article about it.
- Opinionated male politicians? Visionaries. Opinionated female politicians? Must be some sort of cult. Grab your torch and pitchforks—or better yet, let’s just write an article about it.
- The Democratic Sass-Quatch:
- Searching for Bigfoot is out, hunting the elusive creature known as the Quiet Female Politician is in. They exist, apparently, in the imaginations of those who find the sound of women speaking truth to power a little too…loud.
- Searching for Bigfoot is out, hunting the elusive creature known as the Quiet Female Politician is in. They exist, apparently, in the imaginations of those who find the sound of women speaking truth to power a little too…loud.
The Counter
- What’s Good for the Gander:
- It’s an odd thing to consider that in the kitchen of political discourse, it’s not the cook with the most recipes (experience) or the freshest ingredients (ideas) that matters, but rather, who has the Y chromosome.
- It’s an odd thing to consider that in the kitchen of political discourse, it’s not the cook with the most recipes (experience) or the freshest ingredients (ideas) that matters, but rather, who has the Y chromosome.
- Definitely Not a Gender Issue:
- It’s clearly not about gender—it’s about acoustics. Yes, our political analyst surely must be concerned about the auditory health of the nation. Start handing out earplugs; it’s going to get ‘preachy.’
- It’s clearly not about gender—it’s about acoustics. Yes, our political analyst surely must be concerned about the auditory health of the nation. Start handing out earplugs; it’s going to get ‘preachy.’
- Preachiness as a Public Service:
- Preachiness might just be the new public service announcement. “Have you checked your voter registration today? And don’t forget to eat your vegetables!” Both good for you, but oh, so annoying when said out loud by someone you don’t want to hear from.
- Preachiness might just be the new public service announcement. “Have you checked your voter registration today? And don’t forget to eat your vegetables!” Both good for you, but oh, so annoying when said out loud by someone you don’t want to hear from.
- The Silence of the Bro’s:
- One wonders where all the cowering males have gone—possibly hiding in Silent Hill, lying in wait for the siren call to pass so they can emerge and speak freely once again.
- One wonders where all the cowering males have gone—possibly hiding in Silent Hill, lying in wait for the siren call to pass so they can emerge and speak freely once again.
- A Whisper in the Wind:
- Finally, we solve the age-old riddle: if a woman speaks her mind in politics and no man is there to hear it, is she still ‘dominating the culture’? Spoiler alert: Yes, yes she is.
- Finally, we solve the age-old riddle: if a woman speaks her mind in politics and no man is there to hear it, is she still ‘dominating the culture’? Spoiler alert: Yes, yes she is.
The Hot Take:
To assuage the tender sensibilities of those who find the harmonic resonance of female vocal cords too much to bear, I suggest a simple solution. We create a new office—the Department of Decibel Control (DDC), tasked with the sole purpose of ensuring that all political speech falls within the “Carville Comfort Zone.” The DDC will issue non-preachy permits to the select few distinguished by their ability to speak passionately without accidentally inspiring or offending anyone.
And should this not suffice, we have a fallback plan: Ladies, time to start miming your political beliefs. Why bother with words when a good pantomime can tell the story? After all, in a world where the idea of ‘too many preachy females’ is enough to grab headlines, we’ve surely toppled into the theater of the absurd.
Source: Carville: ‘Too many preachy females’ are ‘dominating the culture of the Democratic Party’
