Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
In an ironic twist that could be the plot of the next big Broadway musical, the legal squalls surrounding Donald Trump are being whipped up by a ‘karmic justice’ only women could administer. Like a sequel better than the original, these ladies of the law seem hell-bent on showing that karma isn’t just a concept best left for Eastern philosophies – it’s very much alive, kicking, and ready to serve a subpoena in the West, too. The winds of fate are gusting, and they’re bringing tropical storm warnings to Mar-a-Lago’s golden gates.
The Breakdown:
- The Matrimonial Missile:
You’d think that after what feels like seventy-four marriages, Trump would be adept at navigating the female psyche. But apparently, the art of evasion does not extend to ex-wives. Ivana’s posthumously published memoir could serve as evidence in various legal cases, thus propelling the Matrimonial Missile right into the heart of Trump’s litigious battles. - The Tell-All Tornado:
Up next, we have Stephanie Grisham – her tell-all could be mistaken for a weather forecast predicting a high chance of thunderstorms directly over Trump Tower. Her revelations about misconduct are like drizzles that precede the deluge – and the floodgates are open, my friends. - The Subpoena Siren:
Letitia James is on her A-game, ready to slice through financial statements like a hot knife through butter – or like a subpoena through a pile of shredded documents. Trump’s financial dealings are the buffet, and James has brought her appetite for justice. - The Bestseller Blizzard:
Mary Trump’s book, already a bestseller, isn’t just flying off the shelves; it’s hurtling allegations like a literary blizzard upon Trump’s very own Winter Wonderland of woe. Snowball fights are child’s play compared to the icy truths piling up at his doorstep. - The Insider Hurricane:
From within the eye of the storm, we find Georgia’s Secretary of State, Brad Raffensperger – who’s become a surprising ally to the cause. The Insider Hurricane swirls with tales of perfect phone calls and election pressures. Who needs friends when you’ve got co-conspirators like these?
The Counter:
- The Ex Files:
Ivana’s words may come post-mortem, but let’s be honest, who among us wouldn’t want a chance to reach from beyond the veil to stir the pot one last time? Talk about having the last word! - The Grisham Gale:
Grisham’s tell-all is like a gale force wind – it’s dramatic, it gets your hair all messed up, but eventually, it just messes up some trash cans and moves on. Stay tuned for her next book: “I Survived the Storm and All I Got Was This Lousy Nondisclosure Agreement.” - Audit the Auditor:
Letitia’s financial forensic frisk might feel like an audit from hell, but hey, if the papers don’t balance, does it really matter? I mean, what’s a few extra zeroes among friends – or a few less, depending on which side of the audit you’re on. - The Library Chill:
Mary Trump’s exposé may be causing chills, but it’s nothing a good cup of cocoa and a hefty NDA can’t fix. If you can’t stand the chill, maybe stay out of the…library? - The Perfect Storm:
And then there’s Raffensperger – his ‘perfect’ phone call revelations might cause a storm, but it’s fine. We all know that when it comes down to it, ‘perfect’ is just another word for ‘I’ll see you in court.’
The Hot Take:
To solve the meteorological mishap that is Trump’s legal predicament, we could simply let this femme fatale force of nature run its course. When the winds die down, and the waters finally recede, we’ll see exactly what’s left standing.
Perhaps a new blueprint is in order – one that involves less con, more science, and maybe, just maybe, listening to the women who’ve been weathering this storm since day one. After all, they seem to have a knack for forecasting Trump’s fortunes, and their track record is, well, stormy at best.
Ladies and gentlemen, grab your popcorn and your ponchos. It’s going to be a bumpy ride, and we don’t want to miss a single lightning strike of karmic justice.
Source: Women are behind the ‘karmic justice’ driving Trump to legal ruination: columnist
