Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
Ever find yourself wondering if reality has become the latest, greatest, unreleased season of “Twilight Zone”? Well, strap in folks, because the Fox News-Trump team waltz is all the confirmation we need that we’re not just witnessing a dance; it’s a full-blown choreographed routine befitting a Russian ballet, with all its nuanced collusion and pirouettes. The recent revelations of Fox News’ cozy partnership with the Trump team make Watergate look like a kiddie pool. So let’s dive into the deep end of this not-so-surprising but still jaw-dropping saga.
The Breakdown:
- Bullet the Blue Sky meets Orange Justice: Apparently, Fox News might as well have been pitching a White House run. Can you imagine if instead of reporting news, CNN decided to choreograph Bernie’s campaign rallies? At least shuffle the deck if you’re going to deal from the bottom, folks.
- Details: The network, often painted as state TV in a cable box, has been finger-pointing at other outlets for bias while apparently hoarding all the bias in their hidden bias bunker. Classic projection, like a movie theater facing a funhouse mirror.
- Details: The network, often painted as state TV in a cable box, has been finger-pointing at other outlets for bias while apparently hoarding all the bias in their hidden bias bunker. Classic projection, like a movie theater facing a funhouse mirror.
- Breaking Badge of Journalism: Who knew that “Fair and Balanced” was actually code for “We’re With Him”? Journalism ethics classes nationwide must be updating their curriculum as we speak.
- Details: To call this a conflict of interest would imply there was any interest in avoiding conflict. The strings attached are so obvious, it’s like watching a marionette puppet with a combover.
- Details: To call this a conflict of interest would imply there was any interest in avoiding conflict. The strings attached are so obvious, it’s like watching a marionette puppet with a combover.
- Reality Check, Please!: They must be printing Monopoly money over there, because the reality bank has officially gone bankrupt.
- Details: Not only did they sidestep the reporting on hard facts, but they also dove headfirst into the cozy conspiracy bed with satin sheets monogrammed with “T” for “Trump” and “F” for “Fox.” Or is it “Fiction”?
- Details: Not only did they sidestep the reporting on hard facts, but they also dove headfirst into the cozy conspiracy bed with satin sheets monogrammed with “T” for “Trump” and “F” for “Fox.” Or is it “Fiction”?
- Hannity and Friends—The Sitcom We Didn’t Know We Needed: With all this behind-the-scenes chumminess, it feels like a disappointing sitcom where every joke is on the audience.
- Details: The bromance blooms like a toxic algae. It’s so thick you could spread it on toast, preferably with a dollop of disbelief and a sprinkle of disillusionment.
- Details: The bromance blooms like a toxic algae. It’s so thick you could spread it on toast, preferably with a dollop of disbelief and a sprinkle of disillusionment.
- Read Between the (Head)Lines: Next up on Fox: decoding the smoke signals and Morse code that actually meant, “Ignore the man behind the curtain with the bad hair.”
- Details: If news is supposed to be the first draft of history, this is more like the scribbled notes of a conspiracy theorist—kind of hard for democracy to do its job when the teleprompter’s rigged.
- Details: If news is supposed to be the first draft of history, this is more like the scribbled notes of a conspiracy theorist—kind of hard for democracy to do its job when the teleprompter’s rigged.
The Counter:
- Maybe Fox News is a Deep State Plant: It’s entirely possible that they’re a cabal-infiltrated establishment designed to discredit conservative media from within. That’s the sort of 4D chess we’re playing now, kids.
- Details: We’re at the stage of conspiracy inception. Break out the tinfoil hats, because it’s a protection-from-Thoughtwaves kind of day!
- Details: We’re at the stage of conspiracy inception. Break out the tinfoil hats, because it’s a protection-from-Thoughtwaves kind of day!
- But What About The Emails?: How can we focus on these trivial matters of journalistic integrity when there are decades-old emails to sift through? Seriously, we could be finding the cure to the common cold in those lost emails!
- Details: Deflection is not just a defensive move in fencing, it’s also a state of mind.
- Details: Deflection is not just a defensive move in fencing, it’s also a state of mind.
- Alternative Facts Are Just a Bonus Feature: Who needs regular ol’ boring facts when you can have shiny, new alternative ones?
- Details: It’s like getting a free toy in your cereal box, except the toy is a broken compass for navigating political reality.
- Details: It’s like getting a free toy in your cereal box, except the toy is a broken compass for navigating political reality.
- Bias? More Like a Creative Retelling: Think of it not as bias, but as Fox News’ offering of “historical fiction” – it’s got characters, drama, and very liberal interpretation of events.
- Details: Let them have their artistic license. Next, they’ll be claiming the moon landing was a teaser trailer for the Space Force.
- Details: Let them have their artistic license. Next, they’ll be claiming the moon landing was a teaser trailer for the Space Force.
- Propagand-uh, I Mean Public Relations: It’s not propaganda; it’s about public relations, people! And the public needs to relate to a billionaire in the Oval Office, right?
- Details: Just like how we all related to Cinderella before she went to the ball. Peasants and royalty, we’re all the same under our overpriced gowns and toupees.
- Details: Just like how we all related to Cinderella before she went to the ball. Peasants and royalty, we’re all the same under our overpriced gowns and toupees.
The Hot Take:
So here we are, standing at the corner of Credibility Street and Partisan Avenue, trying to hitchhike our way back to Sanity Town. The first step to our collective recovery? Recognize the two-step between some media and politics for what it is – a dance marred by missteps and trodden toes.
Perhaps we could use a dose of transparency serum, administered via the Freedom of Information Act, straight into the bloodstream of our news outlets. Or maybe we require a full-scale media detox, where viewers get weaned off the sensationalism sauce and can see clearly once more. Either way, we’ve got to change the channel on this reality show before the next episode airs. I’d suggest checking the TV Guide for something with a bit more integrity and a little less… fox-trot.
Source: ‘That is what happens in Russia’: Ex-prosecutor slams Fox News’ collusion with Trump team
