From Executive Time to Judicial Naptime: Trump’s Courtroom Slumbers

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

So, remember when you fell asleep in that painfully long meeting at work and everyone thought it was the funniest moment of the month? Well, it turns out you’re not alone in the nap trap; former President Trump has been catching some Zs too—but in court, no less! Apparently, Trump’s snoozing has become a punchline for the Biden Campaign, which has not wasted a heartbeat calling him “feeble.” Forget courtroom dramas; we now have courtroom siestas!

The Breakdown

  • Exhibit A: Sleep is the New Defense

    Here’s Trump, possibly thinking, if I don’t see them, they don’t see me—or my crimes? It’s like a toddler playing hide and seek by covering his eyes. Classic move. The defense by drowsiness strategy is genuinely groundbreaking. Lawyers, take notes.

  • Exhibit B: Biden’s Campaign Doesn’t Miss a Beat

    The Biden folks are full throttle, branding Trump as ‘Sleepy…umm…Trump?’ Oops, already used that one? Must be tough when your opponent hands you jokes on a silver snooze-button. Biden campaign staffers are jumping on these sleepy moments faster than you can say “presidential nap.”

  • Exhibit C: The Age-Old Art of Political Dodging

    Maybe Trump’s naps are a crafty way to dodge questions. Reporter asks a tough question? Cue snoring. This could revolutionize political debates. “Mr. President, about those tax returns?” – “Zzzzz…”

  • Exhibit D: Media’s All-You-Can-Eat Buffet

    The media loves a good scandal, but a napping former president? It’s a feast! Every nap is like an open buffet for pundits, comedians, and late-night show hosts. Perhaps Fox News will start a segment called “Pillow Talk with Trump.”

  • Exhibit E: Public Sympathy – or Lack Thereof

    Are the public sympathizing? Or are they too busy laughing to care? Maybe they’re just relieved to see him quiet, considering the alternative is him speaking.

The Counter

  • Counterpoint A: Maybe He’s Just Meditating?

    Yes, perhaps Trump is not sleeping. Maybe he’s deep in meditation, reaching Zen-like states to enhance his decision-making prowess. Or maybe he’s just resting his eyes from all those Twitter battles of yore.

  • Counterpoint B: Biden’s Campaign Is Just Jealous

    Of the ability to fall asleep anywhere, anytime. I mean, come on, not all of us can snooze on command. Talk about special skills on your resumé!

  • Counterpoint C: Strategic Silence

    By napping, Trump avoids saying anything incriminating. The man’s known for his gaffes. In the land of litigation, the silent man is king… or at least not in jail yet.

  • Counterpoint D: Trump’s Sleep Shows Stamina

    Only a truly robust man can sleep through the high stakes, high stress environment of a legal proceeding. It’s not narcolepsy, it’s a power move!

  • Counterpoint E: He’s Practicing Self-care

    Sleep is essential for health. Perhaps Trump is just leading by example, showing us all the importance of catching those crucial forty winks—even if it is in the middle of a courtroom.

The Hot Take

Now, if we want to solve the real problems here and not just the courtroom naptime antics, let’s stop focusing on the sideshows. Sure, it’s hilarious that a former leader chooses REM over Q&A, but let’s wake up and smell the coffee.

We need more than just comedic relief in these dire times. Maybe, just maybe, we start by actually holding people accountable, awake or asleep. And hey, if all else fails, maybe we should make sure every courtroom comes equipped with a coffee machine, preferably espresso. Can you imagine the change that would brew?

Who knew the courtroom could be such a comfy place to catch up on sleep? Remember, justice may be blind, but it certainly isn’t deaf—though it might need to invest in a louder alarm clock.

Source: Biden Campaign Calls Trump Feeble For Constantly Falling Asleep In Court

Jared Mejia: A decade in the trenches of political writing for many outlets. Master of translating political doubletalk into snarky English. Wields sarcasm and caffeine with equal proficiency, slicing through spin with a razor-sharp wit.

Other Articles

Leave a Reply