Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Ladies and gentlemen, hold on to your hats because we seem to be living in a surrealist painting. You know, the kind where clocks melt and elephants stand on spindly legs? Yeah, that’s exactly the roller coaster of reality we’re strapped into, thanks to folks who still think the term outside agitator is in vogue.
So, What’s an Outside Agitator Anyway?
If you missed it, there was this retired teacher turned Palestinian activist who decided to show her support for, oh I don’t know, basic human decency? And how does the esteemed Mayor of New York, Eric Adams, respond? By dubbing her an outside agitator. Yeah, because when I think of terrifying threats, retired teachers are definitely at the top of my list. Watch out, she might throw a pop quiz or a badly knitted sweater your way!
The Logic—or The Lack Thereof
Calling a native New Yorker an outside agitator for participating in protests in New York is like calling me a tourist in my own bathroom. It’s not just a leap in logic; it’s a pole vault over the Grand Canyon of common sense. And let’s be clear, when that term gets thrown around, it’s drenched in about as much irony as my salads are drenched in blue cheese dressing—which is a lot.
The Twisted Irony of Mislabeling
Labeling someone fighting for human rights and equality as an agitator is so ironical, I could straighten my hair with it. But that’s exactly what happens when you have more interest in painting a narrative than addressing the issues at hand. “Look! Over there! An agitator!” Meanwhile, real problems are swept under the rug with the hope that no one will notice the lump it’s making.
Protestors or Superheroes?
These so-called “agitators” aren’t hiding their identity with capes or swinging from buildings with cool web-shooters. They are ordinary people, and yes, that includes retired teachers, who see something profoundly twisted in society and stand up against it. Not because it’s fun – believe me, standing in a crowd, shouting until your voice is hoarse, is no one’s idea of a weekend getaway.
Oh, The Absurdity!
There’s something deeply hilarious (and a bit tragic) about authorities scrambling to label peaceful protestors as villains. Next thing you know, they’ll be accused of causing global warming or stealing cookies from the cookie jar. Because, clearly, this is the level of discourse we’ve stooped to.
Inspiration in the Midst of Chaos
Despite the labels and the ridicule, there’s a silver lining. People are getting inspired. They’re seeing these agitators not as troublemakers, but as catalysts for change. When a retired teacher stands up, it tells you something: you’re never too old to fight for what’s right. You’re never too irrelevant to make a difference. And no matter what some might say, taking action is a heck of a lot better than sitting quietly on the sidelines.
In Conclusion: We’re All a Bit Agitated
If fighting for a cause makes one an agitator, then sign me up! And while you’re at it, make sure my agitator badge shines because I wear it with pride. We need more agitators, more retired teachers turning into activists, and definitely, more people who care about more than just their own backyard. So here’s to the agitators, the real movers and shakers making this surreal world a bit more bearable.
And as for Mayor Adams, maybe it’s time to retire the term outside agitator along with those old, scratchy record players. It’s a new day, we need new, less ridiculous insults.
