Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
Source: RFK Jr. says he has enough signatures to qualify for New Hampshire ballot in November
The Details
Picture this: RFK Jr., of the storied Kennedy lineage, has somehow gathered enough scribbles on a page to throw his hat into the political circus of New Hampshire.
Oh yes, dear readers, in a move that screams ‘democracy has an interesting sense of humor,’ RFK Jr. claims to have mustered the signatures needed to prance onto the New Hampshire ballot this November.
In a typical fashion that would make his ancestors either beam with pride or blush with bewilderment, this Kennedy has taken a leap into the electoral fray, as reported by the fountain of civic knowledge that is The Hill.
The Breakdown
- Sign Here, Please: Amid what must’ve been the most riveting paper-signing parties, RFK Jr. has supposedly wrangled enough John Hancocks to qualify for ballot access. One wonders if there was free food involved, because you know, nothing spells commitment like a free sandwich.
- Let’s reflect on the mighty pen-wielding warriors who navigated the treacherous sidewalks, clipboards in hand, to collect these democratic tokens. It’s a Herculean task that makes Sisyphus’s rock-rolling gig look like a beach vacation.
- Let’s reflect on the mighty pen-wielding warriors who navigated the treacherous sidewalks, clipboards in hand, to collect these democratic tokens. It’s a Herculean task that makes Sisyphus’s rock-rolling gig look like a beach vacation.
- Kennedy Does Politics? Shocking!: In what could be considered a plot twist if we hadn’t been paying attention for the last century, another Kennedy dives into the political pool. The only way this could’ve been more predictable is if there were a palm reader at the family reunion spelling it out for us.
- Not to be outdone by family lore or common sense, RFK Jr. seems hellbent on adding another chapter to the Kennedy saga. Because really, what’s an American political landscape without a sprinkle of Camelot?
- Not to be outdone by family lore or common sense, RFK Jr. seems hellbent on adding another chapter to the Kennedy saga. Because really, what’s an American political landscape without a sprinkle of Camelot?
- New Hampshire as the Electoral Catnip: Forget Florida and its hanging chads, New Hampshire is where the cool kids come to get on ballots. It’s like the Coachella of political jamborees, where signatures are the currency and relevance is the prize.
- With a charm offensive undoubtedly armed with smiles and firm handshakes, RFK Jr.’s maneuvering through the Granite State reminds us that, yes, every vote—or signature—counts, even if you have to squint to see the fine print.
- With a charm offensive undoubtedly armed with smiles and firm handshakes, RFK Jr.’s maneuvering through the Granite State reminds us that, yes, every vote—or signature—counts, even if you have to squint to see the fine print.
- November’s Surprises: Strap yourselves in, for November’s narrative has sprouted yet another subplot. Just when you thought the ballot was as packed as a Thanksgiving turkey, in strolls a Kennedy to loosen the belt.
- As voters sharpen their number two pencils or warm up their poking fingers, they now have another choice—because what’s an election without a sense of bewilderment at the ballot box?
- As voters sharpen their number two pencils or warm up their poking fingers, they now have another choice—because what’s an election without a sense of bewilderment at the ballot box?
- The Signature Collection – A New Olympic Sport?: I’d wager the signature gathering must possess all the thrill of an Olympic sport. The drama, the hand cramps, the brushes with indecisive citizens—all set against a backdrop of a ticking clock and looming deadlines.
- One does ponder the training regimen for such committed individuals. Do they practice their pitch in the mirror? Is there a championship for who can say “Just sign here, please” with the most conviction? Truly, an art form.
The Counter
- Just a Scribble?: Mocking the signature collection belittles the sincere flattery of democracy in action. Without it, how would we ever enjoy the chaos of a truly crowded ballot?
- The counter-argument must be that each signature is like a love letter to the very foundations of America—small, often illegible, but significantly profound (when added up).
- The counter-argument must be that each signature is like a love letter to the very foundations of America—small, often illegible, but significantly profound (when added up).
- Dynasty Democracy: Sarcasm aside, isn’t it somewhat cozy to see the Kennedys continue their civic passion play? It’s like your favorite TV show that never gets canceled—even if the plotlines sometimes circle back on themselves.
- Instead of seeing this as an elitist hobby, let’s view it as the ultimate fan service to political enthusiasts. After all, a ballot without a Kennedy is like a superhero movie without a cameo—it just feels like something’s missing.
- Instead of seeing this as an elitist hobby, let’s view it as the ultimate fan service to political enthusiasts. After all, a ballot without a Kennedy is like a superhero movie without a cameo—it just feels like something’s missing.
- Small State, Big Dreams: Dismissing New Hampshire’s political clout is like snubbing a small chili pepper for its size. It might look inconsequential, but damn, does it pack a fiery punch.
- A counter to the counter could be that these intimate state races are where true change can begin—where Davids meet Goliaths, and clipboards become the slingshots of modern-day political warfare.
- A counter to the counter could be that these intimate state races are where true change can begin—where Davids meet Goliaths, and clipboards become the slingshots of modern-day political warfare.
- The Element of Choice: As much as we jest, variety is the spice of life—and elections. With a Kennedy now added to the mix, voters are like diners at a buffet pondering if they want to revisit that familiar, albeit sometimes stale, dish.
- What could be more counter to the rampant cynicism of our times than embracing the ultimate empowerment of choice, even when it serves us a side dish of political déjà vu?
- What could be more counter to the rampant cynicism of our times than embracing the ultimate empowerment of choice, even when it serves us a side dish of political déjà vu?
- A Sign of the Times: In a world crazed for actual signatures, perhaps this tireless signature solicitation is a heartwarming reminder of the analog days, a fleeting resistance to the tyranny of ‘click to agree’ culture.
- It may serve as a counterpoint that the physical act of endorsing a candidate, hand to paper, is a quintessential rebellion against the impersonal nature of today’s digitized interactions.
The Hot Take
Well, isn’t democracy just the gift that keeps on giving, like that fruitcake from your aunt that never seems to go bad? In our valiant quest for political perfection, we’ve stumbled upon a laughable truth: all you need to shake things up is a storied last name and a penchant for stirring the pot.
So, as we stand at the precipice of yet another election colored with the broad strokes of a Kennedy’s ambitions, maybe, just maybe, the solution isn’t in the griping over dynasties and signatures. Perhaps the liberal palette requires—a dash of daring, a cup of curiosity, and a Kennedy-sized spoonful of ‘why the hell not?’
What we need is to embrace the theater, bring in more signatures, more Kennedys, heck, throw in a Roosevelt or two for good measure. Let’s make the ballot a historical who’s who—a veritable wax museum of candidates. Because if history has taught us anything, it’s that politics, much like your favorite sitcom, thrives on reruns.
