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In a move less surprising than finding a caffeinated beverage in a Starbucks, a G.O.P. senator has taken the bold leap into the unknown waters of Common Sense Ocean. She has firmly stated her refusal to back Mr. Trump in the upcoming 2024 election brouhaha, while also teasing us with the tantalizing possibility of a G.O.P. exit. I mean, what’s next? Is the Tooth Fairy going to demand dental insurance? Let’s face it: this is the political version of your uncle finally saying he might ditch dial-up Internet—for good this time.
The Breakdown
- “My Party, Right or Wrong” Well, Maybe Not So Right
- In the stunned silence of the echo chamber, our brave senator chooses to not endorse the former Tweeter-in-Chief. Risks include potential loss of patriotic doilies, a flood of angry emails, and the daunting task of explaining to grandkids why toy soldiers don’t always wear red hats.
- In the stunned silence of the echo chamber, our brave senator chooses to not endorse the former Tweeter-in-Chief. Risks include potential loss of patriotic doilies, a flood of angry emails, and the daunting task of explaining to grandkids why toy soldiers don’t always wear red hats.
- Exit Strategy: Party of One?
- Could this be the start of an ‘I-don’t-need-no-man’ phase but for political affiliations? Picture a senator, wind in her hair, driving off the partisan cliff à la Thelma & Louise, except, you know, not crashing into the abyss. We await the RSVP to the independence party.
- Could this be the start of an ‘I-don’t-need-no-man’ phase but for political affiliations? Picture a senator, wind in her hair, driving off the partisan cliff à la Thelma & Louise, except, you know, not crashing into the abyss. We await the RSVP to the independence party.
- 2024 Crystal Ball: Hazy with a Chance of Tweets
- The fortune tellers are out and their crystal balls are foggy—a sign that not everyone wants to play pin the tail on the Donkey (or the Elephant, in this case). Our senator isn’t just reading tea leaves; she’s spilling the whole pot.
- The fortune tellers are out and their crystal balls are foggy—a sign that not everyone wants to play pin the tail on the Donkey (or the Elephant, in this case). Our senator isn’t just reading tea leaves; she’s spilling the whole pot.
- Feeling Trumped by Trump
- Gasp! There’s shock in Shockerstown as doubt is cast on a second ride on the Trump train. It’s like choosing to skip a root canal you’ve had before because, surprise, it kinda hurts and the laughing gas isn’t working anymore.
- Gasp! There’s shock in Shockerstown as doubt is cast on a second ride on the Trump train. It’s like choosing to skip a root canal you’ve had before because, surprise, it kinda hurts and the laughing gas isn’t working anymore.
- Et Tu, Brute? – But with More Civility
- This isn’t so much a knife in the back as it is a strongly-worded Post-it note left on the fridge. It lacks the drama of a Shakespearean betrayal but has the same ‘I’m seriously considering seeing other people’ vibe.
- This isn’t so much a knife in the back as it is a strongly-worded Post-it note left on the fridge. It lacks the drama of a Shakespearean betrayal but has the same ‘I’m seriously considering seeing other people’ vibe.
The Counter
- Dear Leader Is Always Right, Right?
- Ride or Die: Elephant Edition
- When you’ve got the symbol of memory as your mascot, you don’t simply forget your allegiance. As the tech-savvy youth say, “New phone, who dis?” Senators, like elephants, never forget—or at least they’re not supposed to.
- When you’ve got the symbol of memory as your mascot, you don’t simply forget your allegiance. As the tech-savvy youth say, “New phone, who dis?” Senators, like elephants, never forget—or at least they’re not supposed to.
- Tweet Storms Are So Reassuring
- Say what you will, but there’s nothing quite like the cozy comfort of waking up to a tweet storm to remind you that all is loud and unwell in the world. It’s like aggressive birdsong if the birds were all raging insomniacs.
- Say what you will, but there’s nothing quite like the cozy comfort of waking up to a tweet storm to remind you that all is loud and unwell in the world. It’s like aggressive birdsong if the birds were all raging insomniacs.
- Why Have New Ideas?
- It’s cute that someone thinks we need to change course. But why try new strategies when you can just recycle the old ones? It’s like ‘reduce, reuse, recycle,’ but without the reducing and the reusing parts.
- It’s cute that someone thinks we need to change course. But why try new strategies when you can just recycle the old ones? It’s like ‘reduce, reuse, recycle,’ but without the reducing and the reusing parts.
- To Be or Not to Be (Offended)
- Offense is in the eye (or ear) of the beholder. But let’s face it, what’s politics without a little (or an avalanche of) indignation? You say tomato, I say national crisis.
- Offense is in the eye (or ear) of the beholder. But let’s face it, what’s politics without a little (or an avalanche of) indignation? You say tomato, I say national crisis.
The Hot Take
While some might see this senator’s move as a gutsy call for a return to sanity, I see it as having the political backbone of an overcooked spaghetti noodle. And here’s the hot take simmering in the liberal crockpot: If you want to fix the party, maybe, just maybe, it starts by not endorsing the human equivalent of a four-year-old’s temper tantrum. It’s like saying, “I’ll take my fiscal conservatism with a side of ‘not inciting a Capitol riot,’ thank you.” And if for some bizarre reason, that doesn’t work, maybe—just maybe—consider discussing actual policies that might, I don’t know, help people? Crazy, I know.
Look, creating a G.O.P. that aligns with reality might be tougher than teaching a cat to bark, but it’s a worthy sideshow to the main circus. The real question isn’t whether she’ll leave the party, it’s whether the party can leave the realm of the absurd and rejoin the rest of us on planet Earth. Pop some corn and stay tuned.
Source: G.O.P. senator says she won’t vote for Trump and declines to rule out leaving the party.
