Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
College towns have long been the high-fiber bran muffin at the political breakfast table: dependable, predictable, and supposedly good for the Democratic digestive system. But a fresh conundrum is unfurling like a controversial banner across campus quads: What if these youthful bastions of blue aren’t the surefire boost they were once thought to be? This delightful little think piece hangs on the premise that young voters might be rewriting the playbook, leaving political pundits scrambling to update their outdated syllabi on Electioneering 101.
The Breakdown:
- Campus Crusaders or Couch Potatoes? College kids these days are just full of surprises, aren’t they? You’d think their living on lentils and learning about liberal arts would lock them in as Democratic do-gooders. Yet, apparently, the gravitational pull of psephology is waning, and their orbits aren’t looping as loyally around the blue planets.
- Absentee Ballot Bingo. Sure, young voters fancy themselves the Dumbledore’s Army of the political arena, but their actual contribution to the ballot box often ends up more like a game of chance than a show of strength. Youthful idealism: 1, Actual voting rate: 0.
- The Debt-Deferred Protest Vote. The catch-22 of being woke but broke: college students are up to their eyeballs in debt, and while they could band together and vote for the party promising debt relief, it’s just as likely they’ll skip voting and tweet a storm instead.
- Rally ‘Round the Hashtag. Campus rallies are as commonplace as coffee shop acoustic nights. But do these hashtags and heartfelt speeches translate to political upheaval, or are they merely rebellion cosplay before everyone heads back to cramming for midterms?
- Swing State Swingers. Those battleground states are swinging all right, like a hammock in a hurricane. One minute college towns are a safety net for Democrats, the next, they’re a surprise thorn in the side, like a sidewalk skateboard to the shins of party strategists.
The Counter:
- Blue Bubbles in Red Seas. Just when the pundits thought these college towns would forever be blips of blue drowning in a red sea, students might just decide to switch the channel. But really, it’s like thinking your Wi-Fi connection is solid based solely on hope and the number of bars on the screen.
- The “It’s Complicated” Relationship Status. College towns and the Democratic Party have marked their relationship status as “It’s Complicated.” Rather than wearing matching sweaters and sharing milkshakes, they’re now awkwardly avoiding eye contact at the diner.
- Activism’s Evolution. Modern activism doesn’t always look like a march on Washington. Sometimes it’s a TikTok dance challenge about voter registration. Mock it if you will, but tomorrow’s revolutionary is today’s influencer. Nauseating, but true.
- Empathy Over Apathy. Sure, we like to think of these students as only interested in the next viral meme, but every so often, they surprise us by actually prioritizing empathy over apathy—right after they finish that level on their game.
- The Precincts of Tomorrow. They say that today’s college students are tomorrow’s precinct captains. And if the world doesn’t collapse under the weight of climate change, mounting debt, or their own towering expectations, they just might be.
The Hot Take:
While we wring our hands and speculate over the youthful pulse of our nation’s future, the solution to courting these wayward whippersnappers seems clearer than a vodka shot at a frat party: listen, engage, and for heaven’s sake, give them something to vote for rather than just a long line to stand in.
Our collegiate comrades need more than a “We’re not as bad as the other guys” slogan; they need a platform that doesn’t sound like their parents’ dial-up modem. So, dear Democrats, roll up your organic, sustainably sourced sleeves, engage in TikTok diplomacy, and maybe, just maybe, those collegiate contrarians will show up at the polls. And wouldn’t that be a tweet-worthy turn-up for the books?
Source: College Towns Usually Lift Democrats. Is the Picture More Complicated in 2024?
