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In the midst of a nation juggling fireballs of controversies, the Democrats have taken a fire extinguisher to the flare-up around calls for Justice Sonia Sotomayor to hang up her Supreme Court robes a tad early. The idea is as appealing as a colonoscopy prep kit to them. Reports say Democrats are rejecting the notion with the kind of fervor usually reserved for conversations about splitting checks at group dinners.
Why are the proponents of this early retirement bash hitting the snooze button? The reason has about as much clarity as my Uncle Ned’s “famous” homemade moonshine. Think of this as your map through a hall of mirrors, except instead of your reflection, you’re going to see a lot of people shrugging and saying, “Well, that’s politics for you!”
The Breakdown
- Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number, Right?
- Justice Sonia Sotomayor has not yet hit the “Best Before” date, but fans of musical chairs are eager to get the game going. Why wait till she’s ready, when you can ruffle feathers now?
- Justice Sonia Sotomayor has not yet hit the “Best Before” date, but fans of musical chairs are eager to get the game going. Why wait till she’s ready, when you can ruffle feathers now?
- Playing Chicken with the Bench
- The Legacy Leeches
- Let’s make a Supreme Court Justice feel like yesterday’s newspaper before the ink’s dry. It’s about legacy—but whose? The Justice’s, or the eager beavers ready to frame their own portraits in the hallway?
- Let’s make a Supreme Court Justice feel like yesterday’s newspaper before the ink’s dry. It’s about legacy—but whose? The Justice’s, or the eager beavers ready to frame their own portraits in the hallway?
- The Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Tenure
- The honorable Justice is doing fine, thank you very much. She’s penning dissents with the sharpness of a teenager’s scorn for household chores, yet some think a preemptive coup is in order.
- The honorable Justice is doing fine, thank you very much. She’s penning dissents with the sharpness of a teenager’s scorn for household chores, yet some think a preemptive coup is in order.
- Respect Your Elders (Unless They Can Be Strategically Replaced)
- Sotomayor has wisdom that would make Yoda nod approvingly. Yet, some grandmaster chess players can’t resist the urge to play the “Let’s replace the wise person” gambit.
- Sotomayor has wisdom that would make Yoda nod approvingly. Yet, some grandmaster chess players can’t resist the urge to play the “Let’s replace the wise person” gambit.
The Counter
- Out with the Old, In with the…Old?
- Heaven forbid we let someone stick around till they decide it’s bingo time. Seems like some folks want to help her pack her bags to ensure, well, more of the same.
- Heaven forbid we let someone stick around till they decide it’s bingo time. Seems like some folks want to help her pack her bags to ensure, well, more of the same.
- Because “Encore” Means “Do Leave the Stage”
- Just when you think Justice Sotomayor would take a bow for her performance, there’s an audience member screaming, “Get off the stage!” with the subtlety of a foghorn.
- Just when you think Justice Sotomayor would take a bow for her performance, there’s an audience member screaming, “Get off the stage!” with the subtlety of a foghorn.
- Who Needs Experience When You Got Youth?
- Why rely on seasoned judgment when what we clearly need is the legal equivalent of a newborn fawn propped up on the bench, wobbling on its unsteady legs?
- Why rely on seasoned judgment when what we clearly need is the legal equivalent of a newborn fawn propped up on the bench, wobbling on its unsteady legs?
- Can’t Spell “Dismissal” Without “Dismay”
- You’d think a request for early retirement would be made through a tender Hallmark card, but no, it’s through a WhatsApp group chat named “Bench-Warmers United.”
- You’d think a request for early retirement would be made through a tender Hallmark card, but no, it’s through a WhatsApp group chat named “Bench-Warmers United.”
- Life Tenure, Shmife Tenure
- A brilliant concept, until someone younger, hipper and with significantly more TikTok followers is waiting in the wings to ask, “Can you just not?”
- A brilliant concept, until someone younger, hipper and with significantly more TikTok followers is waiting in the wings to ask, “Can you just not?”
The Hot Take
If you ask me, dealing with this push for early retirement is about as enjoyable as explaining Tinder to your grandparents. The prob is, what we need isn’t a Supreme Court justice who’s just legal tender. We need a plan that’s cheekier than a toddler in a tiara contest. How about we stop micromanaging the lifelines of our justices and start focusing on the lifetime supply of issues at our doorstep?
Or even zanier, let’s not treat the high court like it’s a Netflix series, always looking for the next season while the current one still has plenty of kick left in it. Like any decent magic show, there’s beauty in the mystery of not knowing when the rabbit will pop out of the hat. So, maybe we let the Justice pull out her own darn rabbit when she’s good and ready.
Source: ‘It Makes No Sense’: Democrats Reject Calls For Sonia Sotomayor To Retire Early
