The president is furnishing a country, and the water features do not yet form a complete set.

At Wednesday’s rally, as The Verge reports, following an earlier Washington Post report, Trump counted a lake and a gulf among his naming acquisitions, then identified two gaps: a river and an ocean. This is not how you learn geography. This is how you discover you bought the small dinner service.

The Mississippi would be suitably large, but he said he would leave it alone. The remaining river options disappointed him. Apparently America contains thousands of miles of water and not one tasteful finishing piece.

For the ocean, he would consider only the Atlantic or Pacific. He explained that he has always been high-end. It is a tough afternoon for whichever ocean thought depth might be enough.

According to Trump, Google’s Sundar Pichai asked him to abandon the Atlantic plan because oceans involve a lot of countries. Google had not confirmed the conversation when The Verge published.

Trump said he would probably leave the Atlantic name intact, then floated an American Ocean in the Pacific.

The first one didn’t fit. He’s checking the other coast.

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