Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
The Supreme Court is at it again, folks! They’ve got their hands on another hot potato that could change the course of reproductive health and abortion access in this oh-so-futuristic land of ours. The court is poised to decide whether you can get an abortion pill through the mail – because, apparently, waiting in line at the DMV wasn’t punishment enough, now we want pregnancies treated with the same flippant attitude as your late pizza delivery.
The crux of the case is the FDA’s approval of mifepristone, a medication used for abortion, and whether an organization that sounds like it was named by a bunch of 1950s villains, the “American Association of Pro-Life Obstetricians and Gynecologists,” can force the FDA to snatch approval away like a lollipop from a baby.
The Breakdown
- FDA Approved? Not So Fast, Bucko!
- So this med, mifepristone, has been FDA approved for two whole decades now. But some folks have decided that, just like fashion trends, medical practices should be reversible. Because, of course, nothing says “progress” like second-guessing well-established science.
- So this med, mifepristone, has been FDA approved for two whole decades now. But some folks have decided that, just like fashion trends, medical practices should be reversible. Because, of course, nothing says “progress” like second-guessing well-established science.
- Safety? Are We Talking Cars or Pills?
- The argument is that the pill, which has a safety record like a Volvo, might actually be a sneaky, dangerous Pinto this whole time. Because why trust years of data and medical research? That seems too much like common sense.
- The argument is that the pill, which has a safety record like a Volvo, might actually be a sneaky, dangerous Pinto this whole time. Because why trust years of data and medical research? That seems too much like common sense.
- Let the Postal Service Decide Your Fate
- Ah yes, mail-order abortions. Because when I think of precision and timely delivery, I absolutely think of the postal service. Who knew that the same folks who occasionally gift your neighbor your tax returns will potentially also handle your reproductive rights?
- Ah yes, mail-order abortions. Because when I think of precision and timely delivery, I absolutely think of the postal service. Who knew that the same folks who occasionally gift your neighbor your tax returns will potentially also handle your reproductive rights?
- The Litigation Shuffle
- There’s a merry dance of lawsuits going on here. If there were such a thing as court choreography, they’d call it the “litigation shuffle” — one step forward, two decades back, with a little hop of bureaucracy.
- There’s a merry dance of lawsuits going on here. If there were such a thing as court choreography, they’d call it the “litigation shuffle” — one step forward, two decades back, with a little hop of bureaucracy.
- Political Ping-Pong with Pills
- Mifepristone is now a political football, being tossed back and forth as if it were as inconsequential as deciding the official state bird. Who needs healthcare consistency when you’ve got a good game of partisan ping-pong?
- Mifepristone is now a political football, being tossed back and forth as if it were as inconsequential as deciding the official state bird. Who needs healthcare consistency when you’ve got a good game of partisan ping-pong?
The Counter
- Keep Your Laws Off My Body… But Also Your Science
- Apparently, the mantra is to keep laws off our bodies unless it comes to blocking a safe medical option that has been around since Y2K was a thing. Silver lining? We might start seeing doctors in courtrooms more than hospitals!
- Apparently, the mantra is to keep laws off our bodies unless it comes to blocking a safe medical option that has been around since Y2K was a thing. Silver lining? We might start seeing doctors in courtrooms more than hospitals!
- The Disappearing Doctor Act
- Need a doctor? Not anymore! Your legislator is now doubling as your physician, sans the pesky medical degree. Handy, isn’t it? They already know what’s best for absolutely everyone, no matter the circumstance.
- Need a doctor? Not anymore! Your legislator is now doubling as your physician, sans the pesky medical degree. Handy, isn’t it? They already know what’s best for absolutely everyone, no matter the circumstance.
- Is The Mailman My New Pharmacist?
- Sure, pharmacists go to school for years, but why not cut out the middleman? I’m looking forward to the day my mailman gives me diet tips and my Uber driver performs my yearly check-up.
- Sure, pharmacists go to school for years, but why not cut out the middleman? I’m looking forward to the day my mailman gives me diet tips and my Uber driver performs my yearly check-up.
- Legal Precedent or Political Theater?
- This case isn’t just about medical approval; it’s a full-on theatrical production with the court as the stage, and standards of healthcare as the damsel in distress. Spoiler alert: The damsel doesn’t have a knight in shining armor this time.
- This case isn’t just about medical approval; it’s a full-on theatrical production with the court as the stage, and standards of healthcare as the damsel in distress. Spoiler alert: The damsel doesn’t have a knight in shining armor this time.
- One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
- What’s better than advancing women’s healthcare and autonomy? Reversing it under the guise of “safety” like a bad moonwalk impersonation. Michael Jackson, eat your heart out.
- What’s better than advancing women’s healthcare and autonomy? Reversing it under the guise of “safety” like a bad moonwalk impersonation. Michael Jackson, eat your heart out.
The Hot Take
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s clear to me that we’re looking at this all wrong. Medicine, schmedicine. It’s high time we recognized the true potential of our legal system as a diagnostic tool! I mean, who needs a doctor’s expertise when you’ve got judges in robes ready to play medical whack-a-mole with women’s health?
Here’s a novel idea: How about we base medical decisions on, oh I don’t know, medicine? Maybe throw in a dash of science? And while we’re at it, let’s keep the courts as far away from the pharmacy as we keep those pesky expiration dates from our canned foods.
In conclusion, if we really want to ‘advance’ society, let’s make it simple – fact over fiction, science over scares, and healthcare decisions made by, stay with me here… healthcare professionals. What a shockingly liberal concept, huh?
Source: How the Supreme Court could determine abortion pill access
