Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
America is facing a shortage more pressing than the next iPhone model delay—it seems we’re running low on OB-GYNs. That’s right; in the nation famed for super-sizing everything, we somehow managed to shrink-wrap our healthcare, particularly where babies and their overworked storks—sorry, doctors—are concerned.
According to the journalistic sleuths at The Hill, this OB-GYN deficit is not because doctors are trading their speculums for spatulas to join the artisanal sourdough craze. So, let’s put on our comedic scrubs and dissect why you might soon find a ‘Gone Fishin” sign at your local gynecologist’s office.
The Breakdown
- Where did all the doctors go? Is there a secret OB-GYN island retreat we don’t know about?
- You would think they’ve been whisked away to some utopian island where Pap smears are as delightful as piña coladas. The reality? Many are retiring early, overwhelmed by high stress and low satisfaction. I guess delivering babies isn’t the same without a stork’s salary.
- You would think they’ve been whisked away to some utopian island where Pap smears are as delightful as piña coladas. The reality? Many are retiring early, overwhelmed by high stress and low satisfaction. I guess delivering babies isn’t the same without a stork’s salary.
- Medical students just say ‘Nah’ to OB-GYN. Apparently, babies aren’t trendy anymore.
- The new crop of doctors, fresh from the organic, GMO-free medical school farms, are choosing other specialties. It turns out that delivering babies at 3 AM is less appealing than the dermatology gig with its promise of 9-to-5 Botox parties.
- The new crop of doctors, fresh from the organic, GMO-free medical school farms, are choosing other specialties. It turns out that delivering babies at 3 AM is less appealing than the dermatology gig with its promise of 9-to-5 Botox parties.
- Malpractice Insurance: The Boogieman of OB-GYN.
- It’s about as expensive as a ticket to Hamilton during peak Lin-Manuel miranda mania. No wonder OB-GYNs are a disappearing breed; paying for insurance probably requires a side-hustle in moonlighting as clown at kid’s birthday parties.
- It’s about as expensive as a ticket to Hamilton during peak Lin-Manuel miranda mania. No wonder OB-GYNs are a disappearing breed; paying for insurance probably requires a side-hustle in moonlighting as clown at kid’s birthday parties.
- Burnout: Because who doesn’t love 80-hour weeks?
- Many OB-GYNs work long hours that would make even a 19th-century coal miner cringe. If your job description included staring at placentas all day, you’d be burned out too.
- Many OB-GYNs work long hours that would make even a 19th-century coal miner cringe. If your job description included staring at placentas all day, you’d be burned out too.
- Gender pay gap: Turns out, it’s alive and kicking in maternity wards too!
- Female OB-GYNs often get paid less than their male counterparts, which is ironic given they’re champions of the very organs that define gender inequality. Talk about a slap in the uterus.
- Female OB-GYNs often get paid less than their male counterparts, which is ironic given they’re champions of the very organs that define gender inequality. Talk about a slap in the uterus.
The Counter
- OB-GYN shortage? More like an opportunity for a new reality show — ‘So You Think You Can Deliver?’
- Let’s pitch it to the networks. I bet the ‘Baby Catching Dance-off’ episode would be sweeps-week gold.
- Let’s pitch it to the networks. I bet the ‘Baby Catching Dance-off’ episode would be sweeps-week gold.
- Why avoid burnout when it could become the next American pastime?
- Move over, baseball. Exhaustion is the next hot ticket. Plus, trading your favorite OB-GYN like a fantasy league could become the new office sport.
- Move over, baseball. Exhaustion is the next hot ticket. Plus, trading your favorite OB-GYN like a fantasy league could become the new office sport.
- The gender pay gap in medicine is just traditionalists keeping it old school, right?
- Ah, nostalgia. Like rotary phones and VCRs, nothing beats the classics, including outdated equality benchmarks.
- Ah, nostalgia. Like rotary phones and VCRs, nothing beats the classics, including outdated equality benchmarks.
- Who needs doctors when WebMD and a YouTube tutorial can pretty much make you a medical professional?
- Just Google ‘How to deliver a baby,’ watch a few videos, and voilà, you’re practically certified. Let’s DIY this healthcare crisis.
- Just Google ‘How to deliver a baby,’ watch a few videos, and voilà, you’re practically certified. Let’s DIY this healthcare crisis.
- So you can’t get an appointment with your OB-GYN. Time to embrace the waiting game as the new meditation.
- Waiting nine months for an appointment will merely match your baby’s cooking time. It’s all about synchronicity.
- Waiting nine months for an appointment will merely match your baby’s cooking time. It’s all about synchronicity.
The Hot Take
Look, the solution to this OB-GYN shortage is as clear as the pee stick on a pregnancy test. We need to flip maternity care on its head—or, you know, actually treat doctors like human beings. How about we start valuing OB-GYNs for their miracle work and pay them the big bucks to match? Throw in free spa days to tackle that burnout. And hey, why not standardize the pay so that regardless of what’s in your scrubs, you take home the dough your work deserves?
As a country, we’ve got to incentivize medical students to take up the cause. Maybe throw in a free baby with every OB-GYN degree? Let’s kick those pesky financial and workplace obstacles to the curb and give these doctors a fighting chance. After all, it’s only the future of our species we’re talking about—no pressure.
Remember, when the birthing gets tough, the tough get… a better healthcare policy, right?
Source: The United States is experiencing a growing OB-GYN shortage. Here’s why.
