Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
Ladies and gentlemen, step right up to the circular circus that never ends! Yes, I’m talking about Day 12 of Donald Trump’s trial. Just like a bad sitcom, you can miss three episodes, come back, and nothing has changed because the scriptwriters are lazy! You’d think with all the reruns, they’d at least solve one crime, but nope, here we are, watching the same clown show.
Gag Me with a Gag Order
So, they’ve slapped another gag order on the proceedings. I wasn’t aware we were at a point where adding more silence would benefit this loud affair. If anything, having Trump quiet for five minutes is a shock to the system – it’s like suddenly finding your home too peaceful after the neighbors’ five dogs are finally taken inside.
The Michael Cohen Financial Ferris Wheel
Then we’ve got Michael Cohen. Oh, boy. The man’s been paid in ways that would make a contortionist jealous. Figure this one out – payments looped around so many times, you’d need to be a gymnast to follow the money trail. Seriously, following this financial trail is like trying a new diet plan – you have no idea what’s going on, but it sure feels like you’re losing something!
How Many Lawyers Does It Take to Change a Lightbulb?
Let’s break down the legal entourage present. You’d think with that many lawyers, some genius would have figured out a way not to have the same arguments every day. Apparently, it’s all about who can bill the most hours. Imagine this army of suits, all trying to change a lightbulb, but instead, they’re debating the ethical implications of electric light and its impact on candle makers!
The Only Crime Bigger Than the Accusations? The Trial Itself!
Honestly, watching this trial is more draining than my battery life while I scroll through three-minute TikTok clips. If somebody could please pass a law to make legal proceedings less mind-numbing, please, make it yesterday! I’ve seen drying paint with more dramatic tension.
What Do We Do?
So what do we, as the highly entertained public, do? We grab our popcorn, sit back, and tune in — not like we have much choice! The trial goes on, and we’re stuck wondering if there will ever be a season finale.
Still Better Than Reality TV
At least reality TV stars know when they’re out of the limelight. But this? This could drag on longer than those never-ending soap operas my grandmother watches. You know the kind, where the evil twin that nobody knew existed suddenly turns up at a funeral claiming to be the deceased.
When Will It End?
As this trial stretches into eternity, I keep thinking about all the things I’d rather do than hear another recount of the same details. Maybe start knitting, or perhaps learn ancient Greek. Anything’s better than this legal déjà vu!
In Conclusion: Can We Get Off This Ride?
Every morning, we wake up, and it feels like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, only less funny and with more attorneys. It’s like being on a carousel that won’t stop, but instead of delightful music and painted horses, you get legalese and gag orders.
Let’s have a collective sigh, shall we? And maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will bring something new. But I wouldn’t bet my last stale donut on it.
