Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
In an absolutely stunning revelation that will surely leave you on the edge of your seat, dipped in a mixture of incredulity and a haunting sense of déjà vu, Governor Kristi Noem engaged in a bit of a political tap dance on CNN. With the tact of a rhinoceros in a china shop, she addressed the topic of certifying the 2020 election. The performance was worthy of a Broadway show, had that show been about verbal gymnastics and factual fancy footwork.
The Breakdown
- Kristi Goes to Bash Town
- Noem virtually took a merry-go-round ride on a question that most kindergarteners could answer with more justice. How many ways can you spin “Yes” or “No”? Apparently, more ways than there are corn stalks in South Dakota.
- Noem virtually took a merry-go-round ride on a question that most kindergarteners could answer with more justice. How many ways can you spin “Yes” or “No”? Apparently, more ways than there are corn stalks in South Dakota.
- Election Certification Tango
- The Governor dipped and twirled around the issue of election certification like it was the final round in ‘Dancing with the Statesmen’. Each step meticulously choreographed to avoid stepping on the toes of the truth or her party’s delicate sensibilities.
- The Governor dipped and twirled around the issue of election certification like it was the final round in ‘Dancing with the Statesmen’. Each step meticulously choreographed to avoid stepping on the toes of the truth or her party’s delicate sensibilities.
- Disenchanted Enchantment with the Electoral Process
- Like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat, Noem produced grand illusions of voter fraud, without the pesky hindrance of evidence. It’s the kind of trick that leaves you neither enchanted nor entertained, but primarily confused and mildly irritated.
- Like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat, Noem produced grand illusions of voter fraud, without the pesky hindrance of evidence. It’s the kind of trick that leaves you neither enchanted nor entertained, but primarily confused and mildly irritated.
- Ode to the Art of Diversion
- Ask about election certification and get an eloquent monologue on anything slightly related except a straight answer. Noem took us on a scenic detour through the flower fields of Irrelevance, avoiding the potholes of Accountability Avenue.
- Ask about election certification and get an eloquent monologue on anything slightly related except a straight answer. Noem took us on a scenic detour through the flower fields of Irrelevance, avoiding the potholes of Accountability Avenue.
- The Great Unanswered Question
- In a performance worthy of a suspense thriller, the Governor left us hanging more than a cliffhanger season finale. Will she, won’t she commit to a clear stance? Tune in next week, same bat-time, same bat-channel!
- In a performance worthy of a suspense thriller, the Governor left us hanging more than a cliffhanger season finale. Will she, won’t she commit to a clear stance? Tune in next week, same bat-time, same bat-channel!
The Counter
- The Stiff Upper Lip Defense
- Because nothing says “I stand by my decisions” like a facial expression that’s reluctant to betray any hint of certainty or doubt. Poker faces for politics.
- Because nothing says “I stand by my decisions” like a facial expression that’s reluctant to betray any hint of certainty or doubt. Poker faces for politics.
- The Historical Hedge
- Remember, if you ever get into a tight spot, just pull out the “Well, historically…” card. Because nothing excuses the present like a scrambled reference to the past, however irrelevant it may be.
- Remember, if you ever get into a tight spot, just pull out the “Well, historically…” card. Because nothing excuses the present like a scrambled reference to the past, however irrelevant it may be.
- The Red Herring Relay
- A masterful change of the subject, because why address one question when you can respond to five others that weren’t asked? Relay race to the off-topic!
- A masterful change of the subject, because why address one question when you can respond to five others that weren’t asked? Relay race to the off-topic!
- The Logical Leapfrog
- Skip from Point A to Point Z without the burden of those pesky intermediate steps. Logic? We don’t need no stinking logic; we leapfrog right over it.
- Skip from Point A to Point Z without the burden of those pesky intermediate steps. Logic? We don’t need no stinking logic; we leapfrog right over it.
- The Boldness in Being Vague
- In a world full of people demanding clarity, be bold, be vague. After all, it’s not about the answers, it’s about maintaining that air of mystery.
- In a world full of people demanding clarity, be bold, be vague. After all, it’s not about the answers, it’s about maintaining that air of mystery.
The Hot Take
It’s like we’ve stumbled upon a new Olympic sport where the longer you can evade a question, the higher your score. This isn’t so much about finding a “liberal approach to fixing the problem” as it is about rediscovering the lost art of straight talk.
If we really want to tackle this head-on, we need to take out the political trash, bring in the fact-checkers as referees, and turn the debate stage into a no-spin zone. As a wise man probably never said, “When in a hole, stop digging.”
So, let’s replace the shovels with some truth serum and get down to the genuine bone of accountability. And if all else fails, perhaps it’s time for a public game of Truth or Dare. I dare say, the truth would be a refreshing plot twist.
Source: On State of the Union, Republican Gov. Kristi Noem tells CNN’s Dana Bash “I wasn…
