Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
You know, every once in a while I come across a story that makes me wonder if the people making decisions have any functioning synapses left. This grand tale of incompetence comes straight from the Land of Lincoln, Illinois. Yeah, that Illinois, the state desperately floundering to combine wisdom and policy and failing spectacularly.
This time they’ve really outdone themselves. They’ve decided the best way to deal with children with special education needs is to pack ’em up and ship ’em off. And not just to the next town over, no, but all the way out of state!
Now, hold on to your hats, folks, because it doesn’t just stop at shipping these kids off like they’re last season’s fashion being returned to the warehouse. No, these kids are being sent to a for-profit facility in New York. And guess what? This fancy out-of-state facility isn’t even properly vetted or monitored by the Illinois standards. If you thought Illinois had standards, apparently, it’s as mythical as a unicorn when it crosses state lines.
It’s like sending your kids to a summer camp that promises character building and instead, they learn how to hotwire cars. That’s right, folks. You can’t make this up. Well, you could, but then you’d be a screenwriter, not a policy maker, although at this point, I’m starting to think maybe they’re the same.
Imagine being so incompetent that you can’t find a way to cater to special needs within your own state that you decide, “Hey, let’s send them over to another state and see if they notice our mess there!” This is not a game of hot potato, Illinois! These are children’s lives. But hey, why bother improving your own systems or facilities when you can just pile the kids on a bus and give them a hearty, “Good luck in New York!”
And here’s the kicker, they’re spending a mountain of cash to do this. Money that could have been funneled into creating a sophisticated, well-monitored program right in their backyard. But noooo, why make things straightforward and logical? That would be too easy! It’s much more exhilarating to navigate the bureaucratic labyrinth that is out-of-state student transfers.
Now, I dare say, how would you feel if you were told, “We think your child will thrive better in another state!” It’s not a testament to the other state’s outstanding capabilities; it’s a glaring billboard advertising your own ineptitude. And not just any billboard, but one lit up with neon lights, screaming, “We’re clueless!”
The fallout is as predictable as a sitcom plot twist. You’ve got parents pulling their hair out trying to get accountability. You have kids who are now not just navigating the challenges of their conditions but also dealing with dislocation. Because what screams fixing the issue louder than adding a side of homesickness to their plate?
This should be a comic skit, not real life. In any room where solutions are brainstormed, how is “send them away” the winner? What were the discarded ideas? Catapult launches? Smoke signals? It’s the kind of solution that makes you need a drink… or four.
And amidst this comical tragedy, there’s the all-too-familiar dance of no one taking responsibility. The classic, “I thought YOU were monitoring them!” as these children, in need of structure and familiarity, are shrugged off like an afterthought.
So, next time Illinois needs a solution to a problem, maybe they could start by not treating their responsibilities like an annoying cousin they try to pawn off on anyone else at the family reunion. Address the issues, Illinois, don’t export them!
Who knew educational policy could double as a comedy script? Maybe next, Illinois will propose fixing global warming by sending the sun to Alaska.
