Catch This Train Before It Derails: The Fiscal Comedy of Public Transit

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Ah, mass transit! That wonderful place where you’re never sure if you’re catching the 5 o’clock bus or a mild case of tuberculosis. And yes, thanks to our dear friend COVID, it’s been quite a ride—literally and fiscally. Let’s take a hilarious and heartbreaking deep dive into the absurd world of budgeting for buses and trains during a pandemic that’s more persistent than my last sinus infection!

During the cheek-squeezing grip of the pandemic, Federal spending was like your overly affectionate aunt; it just wouldn’t let go. Billions were pumped into mass transit to keep it running. Why? Because, unlike my ability to keep a plant alive, we actually needed these services operational. Essential workers had to get to work, while the rest of us had the luxury of turning our kitchens into home offices and our living rooms into … lesser home offices.

But hark! The winds of change are blowing, and they smell like budget cuts and broken dreams. Now that the world is trying to shake off the COVID cobwebs and pretend everything is hunky-dory, Uncle Sam’s generosity is drying up like a raisin in the sun—no, not the brilliant play, but actual raisins, which are sad and shrivelled and not helpful for getting to your job on time.

Let’s be real. Without that federal cash infusion, public transit is left dangling like a participial phrase in one of my unfinished novels. It’s clear as day—take away the money, and soon, we’ll all be partaking in the morning tradition of the great American traffic jam, turning our highways into parking lots and our commutes into the seventh circle of hell.

Now, some might wonder, “What’s the big deal? If riding the subway is akin to participating in a survival reality show, why not drive?” To those people, I say: have you SEEN gas prices? Or tried finding parking in a city lately? It’s like playing musical chairs with two chairs and a hundred people dancing around them. And not just any dance, my friends, but a frantic tarantella that ends with a lot of bruised shins and crushed spirits.

So, what’s the solution here? Are we doomed to a future where the only ones riding the subways are raccoons with expired MetroCards? Well, not if I can help it! Here’s a thought—how about we stop treating public transit like a seasonal pie-eating contest and start funding it like the absolutely essential service that it is?

I mean, seriously, America. We can coordinate a fleet of delivery drones to drop a burrito on our doorstep without breaking a sweat, but we can’t keep a few trains running on time? Have we not all seen enough dystopian films to know that letting public infrastructure crumble is the start of every third act conflict?

We need to keep pushing money into mass transit like I need to keep espresso in my bloodstream: fervently, continuously, and with a mild undertone of desperation. Let’s not forget, public transit is not just about convenience; it’s about community, economy, and for heaven’s sake, the environment. Because believe it or not, your SUV doesn’t run on unicorn tears and good intentions!

As we ponder these great societal conundrums, let’s laugh to keep from crying, shall we? And maybe, just maybe, we can guilt someone in power to pass a bill or two—ideally before we all revert to horse-drawn carriages and calling it “vintage transit solutions.” Now wouldn’t that make for a lovely traffic update?

Source: Federal Spending Rescued Mass Transit During Covid. What Happens Now?

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