Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Isn’t it marvelous how every election year brings out the most absurd ideas from the deepest crevices of political grandstanding? It’s like they think, Hey, what’s the most divisive issue we can sling mud over this year? Oh, yeah, why not abortion again? Bravo, folks, bravo! You’ve managed to surprise exactly no one.
So here we are in 2024, and the battleground is abortion laws. State by state, the inconsistency is so vast that you’d think governors were playing bingo with women’s rights. B-7: Ban at 15 weeks! N-40: Forced parental notification! G-60: let’s throw in mandatory three-day waiting periods! Just stunning how we can regulate uterus more effectively than firearms.
Who’s Writing These Laws?
Let’s take a moment to appreciate the geniuses writing these laws. Clearly, they’ve graduated with honors from the University of I Don’t Understand Basic Biology but Love to Legislate It Anyway. Their excellent grasp of women’s health issues must come from those extensive minutes spent Googling or perhaps those heartfelt moments whispering, what would the medieval ages do?
State-by-State Misery Index
Looking at how each state has approached abortion is like watching someone try to solve a Rubik’s Cube while blindfolded and wearing boxing gloves. Some states seem to believe that the best way to address healthcare is to craft a labyrinthine set of rules that would leave even Daedalus saying, I didn’t mean this when I built the maze, guys.
Then, you’ve got those states passing laws that could only have been designed on Opposite Day. Let’s make a law that helps women! Nah, just kidding, let’s do the exact opposite. And amidst this chaos, women are trying to navigate a healthcare system that’s less reliable than a weather forecast in April.
Rally Cry or Cry for Help?
You can’t also miss the political rallies. These events are comedy gold, minus the funny and plus the terrifying. Politicians thump their chests, spewing what they believe are rallying cries but sound more like cries for help. They’re less about providing solutions and more about who can shout the loudest about things they barely comprehend.
Every speech seems to be a throwback to when men were men and women were, I don’t know, presumably not part of the decision-making process? It’s like watching reruns of a bad ’80s sitcom: not enjoyable, not educational, and definitely not something we need another season of.
2024 – The Year We Went Backwards in Time
Here’s the kicker: while some parts of the world are innovating and moving forward, certain state legislatures seem to think it’s still 1950. They apparently missed the memo that times have changed. Now, more than ever, the discussion feels like someone hit the rewind button on the DVR of progress.
And let’s not brush off the impact these laws have on real lives. We’re seeing personal decisions being governed by politicians who couldn’t navigate their way out of a paper bag, let alone dictate health policy. If laughter is the best medicine, then our current political scenario is the prescription no one asked for.
In Conclusion – Will Someone Please Pass the Common Sense Bill?
So, as we tread through yet another election tangled up in abortion laws, one has to wonder if common sense will ever prevail. Will we continue to play this tired game of political ping-pong? Or, will someone, somewhere, pass a bill that states, Hey, maybe let’s just let women decide? Until then, I guess we can just enjoy the absurdity of the situation, because if we don’t laugh, well, we might just cry instead.
And there you have it. Here’s to understanding the year 2024 through the lens of a carnival mirror because, honestly, what else can you do but marvel at the absurd reflection?
Source: 6 key facts about abortion laws and the 2024 election
